Who knew all it took was massive crisis - a pandemic, a total collapse of career - to set the record straight. Had to burn the whole forest down to make way for new growth.

… this self-esteem I’d found in looking to my body for answers was as fragile as the body it relied on to exist.

There’s an issue that I think I’ve been aware of for years, but really just aware of in a peripheral way; nameless, formless, but I could feel it there at all times. It’s followed me for as long as I can remember, and I’ve been thinking lately that if I don’t address it soon, it will come to define me. So here I go.

Maybe it’s that I’m older now. Maybe it’s that I’ve done the LA thing. Maybe it’s that I realised how horrifically unhealthy the music industry is it is, only after being damaged - and realising that maybe some things aren’t worth killing yourself over.

I’ve had this nagging agitation a lot recently, a frustration I couldn’t quite put my finger on, but it only struck me once I had this realisation a couple of weeks ago: I’ve been on my journey to release new music for 18 months, and I’ve managed to stretch out what should have taken only 3/4 months into a year and a half. How did that happen? And more importantly, why?

I see so many people - friends and acquaintances, news reporters and celebrities - 'standing' in solidarity with particular events and peoples, but not others. What does this say about us and the way we see the world we live in?